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...wow...absolutely loved it. Great job!

I think you need a "beta" which seems to be the name used for editor in fanfic. For one thing,you move from third to first person erratically. <<Her tongue taking the opportunity to slip into his mouth, finding his. After a couple of seconds he starts responding, our tongues moving together in an age old dance. His hands fly to my back again, pressing her body closer to him, whereas her hands find the back of his neck, pulling his head closer to hers.>>

And the "whereas" is also a problem. Using unusual terms stops the reader. Better to use the simpler "while" or "and".

Spelling is also a problem. Spellcheck is not much help with homonyms.

And, while the concept is pretty hot, I think they should be reporting that elevator to the maintenance department. Either Castle has a problem with premature ejaculation or the machine is moving way too slow for a busy police station to put up with.